I don't know how to high-five

By Adam Gibson ©

People are paying $300 for jeans
That look like they cost five dollars
They're getting their hair done so that it will
Look like it hasn't been done
They're greeting on the street
With elaborate handshakes that take
Longer than the conversation
They will shortly have
But I'm busily missing the boat
I'm in all sorts of strife
I've got a secret I must confess:
I don't know how high-five
I miss the mark
I take a self-conscious air swing
I've forgotten to Americanise
Thus I am left behind
I'm wearing T-shirts from the 1980s
Not because they're hip
But because they're all I've got
And I have a pair of board shorts ready
For the return of the polka dot
But all this means nothing
My life remains a lie
I'll come unstuck badly
I don't know how to high-five